A Modern Day Truman Show

I feel like Truman Burbank.

 

Jim Carey's lead role from the widely know movie The Truman Show (which, according to my recent search on IMDB came out in 1998. WHAT? That doesn't sound that long ago.....until I do the math. 15 years ago?!?!).

 

If you for some unfortunate reason are unfamiliar with this movie, let me give you a quick plot synopsis:

Truman Burbank is a normal man. Living a normal life. Only he is completely unaware that his "normal life" is completely manufactured by a TV crew. His friends and family are all actors. His entire life has been aired live on TV 24-7. Cameras are hidden in inconspicuous places, scenes are set up for him to react to, and every person in his life is directed by a TV producer through an inner ear microphone.

He is unsatisfied with the life he leads and his discovery of his lead role in a faux life leads him along the ultimate path of adventure and self affirmation.

 

If you haven't seen it (seriously?) then please, rent it and enjoy.

 

Let me say again, I feel like Truman Burbank. My life is not real. I cannot say that enough because its a constant thread in my thought process lately.

 

I keep waiting to see the same car circling the block, or to walk around a corner and catch a cameraman unawares. I'll say something like "HA! I knew it!" While pointing a finger at him, a look of success and simultaneous dismay displayed across my features.

Success because I knew it couldn't all be true, dismay because I was secretly afraid to be so right.

 

Most days I wake up from dreams of things I used to do. Fuzzy landscapes of varying shades of green, grass tickling my feet as I ride a giant paint horse through a field. Sun on my back and wind on my face. It all melts to the background as my eyes open, my brain catalogs and reviews it and tucks it away as one would place a well read, dog-eared book back on a shelf. It actually confounds me that I accept what are actual memories as some sort of dream life. 

 

I've been in New Zealand for over a month now. Some mornings, I lie in bed, smothered in fleece sheets, staring out across a coastal city. Pacific ocean to my right, mountains slowly rippling into the distance on my left.

 

It blows my mind how right my life feels. How right and normal that view out the window is. How much the sound of an ocean breeze comforts a girl who grew up listening to wind whispering through tall grass. She was one who took solace in the silence and scents of a rolling field. She was more comfortable on horseback than on her own two feet. She lead a life of continuity, each day bleeding into the next.

 

No more. Now she lives a life of mountains. Of tides. Of wild weather. Of great music. Of even better food. Of the best company. Of air, and balance and adventure.

 

You know, I hope my life is a modern day Truman Show. The ratings of late must be killing it. 

Letters for You - Episode One

A Letter for You,

I want you to know, first of all, that I miss you terribly.

Quite often I catch myself thinking that I could have said more, been there more often, stayed longer, asked more questions or just listened more. It makes me feel rather regretful that there are many things in my life that you wont be able to witness. Almost as though I wish I had started living my life long ago. 

That being said, each memory that you bring forth is a beautiful and happy one. I cannot recall one time that I was in your vicinity without a smile on my face. The time you've spent with me has left a massive impression on who I will be in the years to come.

I have a list longer than my arm of things I want to ask you. Advice that I want to request. You always had just the right amount of words phrased in just the right way and any opinion offered never fell upon deaf ears.

My need to explore, see, and experience the world is of my own making. However, it is the simple fact that I know, without doubt, how proud you are of me that brings a smile to my face. Your approval of my current course gives my life weight and solidity that few people my age are lucky enough to experience. The path that I now confidently walk may be the one less travelled by, but that has made all the difference.

Thank you for inspiring me and giving me the courage to walk in the yellow woods.

Love,
LP

Letters for You

Today is the beginning of a project that I've been meaning to start for sometime now. I am always fond of honesty, especially blunt honesty, and there are so many things that people leave unsaid. Therefore, this project is going to envelope (pun!) a series of letters for you.

Addendum to "Turnaround"

Please note: On the night that we originally met The Professor, he was out for drinks with his friend Caesar. I find it very necessary to mention him as he and his girlfriend Cleopatra have been present for each subsequent visit coinciding with The Professor.

Fun fact about Caesar: The man has a sweet tiny empire in Dunedin and some killer dance moves. He and Cleopatra also know where to find some AMAZING fish and chips...